Taut, tidy and pink- a poem

I want tucked, tiny and small  Taut, tidy and pink  But you’re swollen and you’re blue  And need some lipo I think    Say symmetry is beauty?  You’ve failed that test  Droopy, slack and lopsided  A two out of ten at best    If you were snuck into playboy  The editor would scream  You’re spoiling […]

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Demi and Bruce- a poem

Remember when I was twelve You had that bouncy new do I looked down at you in horror- How bloody dare you You glared back at me with your shiny black locks This is the new me- take it or leave it I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I cried out in anger Can’t you just […]

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It all started with Jafar pubes…

Pubic hairs appeared on my vaginal scene at 12. I was horrified. They looked like Jafar’s ridiculous black beard.  Then my period happened and I thought a bloody apocalypse had arrived on my 13-year-old door step. As the years have gone by I have had an on-off relationship with my magical muff. Through itchy sticky […]

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Notorious V.A.G.

As an inexperienced writer I was obviously more concerned with the title of my blog than the actual content. These are a few different titles I ran through: The Notorious V.A.G.- I veered away from this one because my vagina looks nothing like the Notorious B.I.G.  It also isn’t very famous and hasn’t written any […]

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